Enlightened to the world..

When you loose sombody you spend days, weeks and months contemplating on what went wrong. You search through the entirity of your memories and thoughts only to find you can't specifically pin point a certain moment where it all began to tumble rapidly downhill.

Mood, forgotten. Not only is it completly wastful to cry until your blazing eyes cannot physically produce another tear, it's also pointless, so i avoid such things. What exactly does crying help anyway? Of corse other than assisting you to feel an immense amount of self pity. What good does that do? for anyone? You need to come to the pathetically sad realization that you just painfully wasted an extensive amount of time on something that is now simply...gone. Never to blossom again and if it does will most likely fail, miserably.

Despite the issues in the relationship part of you feels entirely responsible. What if things had been different? What if i had of called more? What if i tried just that little harder? All questions that you continously ask yourself in a desperate attempt to analysis the fault. Was there a fault? Or must i come to the realization what i was giving was never going to be good enough..

The painful truth is that change is inevitable and forever isn't real. At least not in relationships. At least not at 16.. I think even though the words 'always and forever' are spoken, in the moment you say them you second guess it all. I knew forever was a ridiculous belief to have but the feeling in the very pitt of your stomach gives you hope, it makes you believe..

Always seeking more, it's the way of the world. Don't we thrive for moments of clarity, moments that give us hope and something to believe in. love, love, love. Who needs it? me? you? humanity? Of corse we do. We are programmed in a way that craves the safeness of company. Another human being to share your world with. Normal right? What is normal?

I hate hate.. Yet it's close to impossible to not feel a sence of resentment towards the very person or thing that made you feel so god damn empty. Did i do the right thing? maybe. So many things to consider.

I however can now work on the parts of my world that quietly suffered during the past 2 years of my life. I am now.. free? Free fallin. Despite the pain i've gained my youth. I feel stronger, even on my weakest of days. It gets better. I'm going to be ok. The world still turns. I get by on the new found knowledge that tommorrow is going to be easier then today. So will the next day. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

The end isn't always so horrific if you find the excellance in it..

Good morning world!

Good morning to all, and what a spectaclar looking day it is here in my world.
Woke up late on this fine satuday morning (aha! i wish). On saturdays my dad and i have made a little tradition that we do the grocery shoppings early saturday mornings! I love going with him, just not so much the early morning starts!

So thats the way my day started today.
Today i'm feeling, quite entranced with the beauty of the gleaming sun, we haven't seen it for a little while. What a pleasure to wake today to a bright blue sky and bright sun!
 i'm spending the day inside! well tidying my room and it is quite apparent to me that i need to finish a english assesment, bleh! Would be a nice day to spend in the park.

Off to spend the night with a friend, teaching her a dance we're learning for our local dance festival which is only 2 weeks away! quite exciting. Hoping on a nice girly night, then no plans are apparent for tommorrow! I love weekends so much, even if all i do is sit at home and work on assignments. The free time is great and luckily for me this weekend is a long one, for the Queens birthday. I wish i got a public holiday on my birthday, would be bliss. Although i must say i love the attention at school on your birthday!

I'm am however missing someone today, unfortunantly.
One of the worse feelings i believe. Keeping busy though! Maybe i'll do something constructive today! Think big they say.

Hope everyone enjoys this nice day, and the rest of your hopefully wonderful weekend.

The perfectly imperfect princess.

Hello, out there!

As you may have guessed, yes i'm new! Have always been interested in having a blog i just have never sat down and actually wrote one, well not a proper one! So my first post i thought i'd introduce myself to you, whoever it is that you are!

I'm Shannon, Shannon Maree the perfectly imperfect princecss! I'm still in school, with an idea of what i want to do when i leave even though i'm a couple of years off yet! I have been bought up in a family with good morals and i believe that has bettered who i am as a person! I'm lucky to have what i have and i certainly don't take that for granted! I'm not extrodinary or brilliant but i do try to be a good person. I have 3 bestfriends that i love dearly and a boyfriend that i truly couldn't live without. I try to surround myself with genuine people, i dislike faulsenss. I also hate people who judge people by there exterior, or sterotype certain people!

I dance, even if i don't dance well i love it! It's cetainly something that i am passionate about. I love watching it the most, i just find it so extrodinary the way a persons movement through the body can tell such an intricate story or portray such deep emotions. I love all the little things in life and the moments that at the time don't seem so amazing only when you look back they still give you an incredible feeling of warmth. I love the rain, especially before i go to sleep on a restless night. Nothing helps me sleep better, well other then the thought of my incredible boyfriend. Corny? yes, probably but i'm so inlove!

My mum would have to be one of the most amazing people i know, she's always there for me when i need her and i know i can always depend on her. She's just one of the people that you are so grateful that you have in your life. I also have a big sister, she's always been one of the most influential people in my world although over this year we have difted, i still feel a warmth at the thought of her. She's a good person and i love her beyond words. I then have my  two brothers who yes i do infact like, abit, maybe a little love!? But then theres the funniest most lovable man i know, my father who has given me unconditional love no matter what. He is certainly someone in my life that couldn't be replaced! I have an amazing family, lucky yes i know alot of people don't have it the way i do. My family is just so tight knit, i wouldn't have it any other way!

I read, i listen to music, i laugh, i cry and i struggle with the everyday issues of my teenage world. I've always been quite a self concious person, i don't like being judged! over these past couple of years that has altered, slowly i'm starting to accept myself and moving on from the importance of my exterior. Beauty is on the inside a hell of alot more than it is on the outside even though society have brainwashed us other wise. Theres always a constant struggle meeting the standards set by the media. Your either to fat or too skinny, too smart or too dumb, to fake or too real it's a loosing battle!

I'm trying this new thing this year, it's called trying to relax, be myself and try my hardest to reach my potential even if sometimes i struggle beyond words and fall short of the person i dream to be. We're all in the same boat, every single one of us. We're just dealt different cards. Everyone feels, believes, dreams and hurts and i'm certainly no exception...

the perfectly imperfect princess..